Claire DeBerg // Writer

“Excervous” & Acting + Modeling = Super Fun Times

I have to admit…being in front of the camera is nerve-wracking AND it gets my acting game much tighter.

Let me be real with you: I start a mean pit sweat when I’m about to get on camera. It is very unladylike and while I don’t stink I do wonder why my arms decide to flood at the precise moment it may all be captured on film.

SIGH.

Even though I’ve done it hundreds of times I still turn into a little sweaty butterfly the moment before the director yells “action.” Aaaaand, I Read More

#VeryMarried Book Review :: Marriage + Semi-Fidelity

I don’t know how to write a book review. I don’t know if I have ever actually written one. All I want to do is give a bunch of opinions and responses and then share what the author does so well and what I feel was missing for me.

I guess that might qualify as a book review, right?

I’ve certainly read enough book reviews that I have a handle on the expectations. I’ve also read book reviews that so hooked me into the novel or memoir that I was sure I couldn’t live through a whole day if I didn’t buy the book immediately…and then when I got my book from Amazon Prime and settled in my IKEA chairs with the book and discovered it was actually a terrible book…well, that is understandably disappointing. I couldn’t believe how bad one of the books was that I raced to purchase due to a review. And then when I was halfway through the book I thought: “That reviewer for sure did NOT read this book because had they actually read it they couldn’t, in good conscience, write the glowing review that spilled from their keyboard.”

Bait and switch at its finest!

So this will be an honest book review because I actually read the book…almost in one sitting! My review, will, in the end, prompt you to buy this book because it is worth it. Your marriage is worth this book. Your commitment to a life of partnership is worth this book.

Here’s the deal: I was asked to be on a launch team for Very Married: Field Notes on Love and Fidelity by Katherine Willis Pershey (it came out just this week!). When I received the invitation to be on the team my first thought was: “Oh nonononono, they’ve made a terrible mistake—I should NOT be associated with a book about being very married!”

And yet, I am married.

So maybe it fits. But my married life is sordid and juicy and dark and rad and has all the feels and is awesome and ugh. When I say my married life has all the feels…it has ALL the feels: terror, shame, incredulousness, angst, stupidity, elation, anger, joy, loneliness, love. You see…I have been married.

Twice.

Twice in 17 years I’ve been lawfully wed to a man. Twice I’ve worn a white dress (gasp!) and walked down an aisle with my dad at the end standing there playing dual roll of father-of-the-bride and officiant. Twice in 17 years I’ve pondered wedding vows and special music and how I’d do my hair and what kind of wedding cake I wanted and the order of a marriage ceremony.

But weddings are one thing and marriages are very much different things, my friends. But of course you know this. Both my weddings were sweet and lovely. And both my marriages can be described as good and hard. My marriage therapist looked at me and my husband last week and said, “So, you’re like most couples…you’ve known each other for about 7 years. You’ve been married 5 years and you woke up one morning thinking, Read More

Rape & Sexualized Violence // Do You See This Woman?

A Letter to Tamar from Claire DeBerg

I am writing to you from a time on earth that is very different than what you knew and yet sadly, it is also full of remarkable similarities. I have read the account of your rape over and over again and I have to wonder: did you know your assault was recorded? Yes, it is true. It is not the most visited story we readers of today return to and meditate on because it is full of sadness and fraught with unpopular responses from every single man the story includes.

But know this: your story and your rape and your powerful response has been recounted for 100s of years in thousands of languages. Men are reading about your rape. Women are reading about your rape. We are hearing the echo of your lament wailing and blasting into our hearts and minds from the past.

The account of your rape is known. It has been recounted. It counts. You count.

There are many small moments in your story that made me pay attention, made me re-read, made me shudder.  Read More

Ugh, Enough with the Clothes, Already!

Enough clothes already! No, this is not a post about nudism or nudists. Also it isn’t about Never Nudes (which you’d know about if you giggle at “Arrested Development” like I do way too often on Friday nights). This is about clothing of all varieties and materials and how I have too many and so do you.

What? How can I accuse you of having too many clothes? And what is too many, really? And who is measuring? And who gives a rip? “But wait,” you say, “we’re all on a spectrum, Claire…we’re all at different places in life….we all make different incomes and choose different paths and make choices based on very different values!”

So true. And you’re right. And I’m right.

I was inspired to share some of my secret ways of pretending like I have a handle on clothes when I read Kris Woll’s great piece on how she culled her closet recently.

Okay, so I’m not in your closet or rifling through those bins you still have stored in your dad’s basement labeled “Winter” (that includes your high school track sweatshirt with the “If you’re reading this I’m ahead of you” slogan printed on the back) and I’m not trailing you at Nordstrom Rack to see how much you actually spend on faux leather leggings. But I am with you in the spirit of excess because that’s the American way, after all, isn’t it?

Oh come on, just join me in the cynicism for a second, it will be fun.

I have put in to practice three different clothing downsizing efforts that have each worked brilliantly AND were hard AND were easy AND you can actually do these.

#1: The Super 7

 

Read More

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