I don’t know how to write a book review. I don’t know if I have ever actually written one. All I want to do is give a bunch of opinions and responses and then share what the author does so well and what I feel was missing for me.
I guess that might qualify as a book review, right?
I’ve certainly read enough book reviews that I have a handle on the expectations. I’ve also read book reviews that so hooked me into the novel or memoir that I was sure I couldn’t live through a whole day if I didn’t buy the book immediately…and then when I got my book from Amazon Prime and settled in my IKEA chairs with the book and discovered it was actually a terrible book…well, that is understandably disappointing. I couldn’t believe how bad one of the books was that I raced to purchase due to a review. And then when I was halfway through the book I thought: “That reviewer for sure did NOT read this book because had they actually read it they couldn’t, in good conscience, write the glowing review that spilled from their keyboard.”
Bait and switch at its finest!
So this will be an honest book review because I actually read the book…almost in one sitting! My review, will, in the end, prompt you to buy this book because it is worth it. Your marriage is worth this book. Your commitment to a life of partnership is worth this book.
Here’s the deal: I was asked to be on a launch team for Very Married: Field Notes on Love and Fidelity by Katherine Willis Pershey (it came out just this week!). When I received the invitation to be on the team my first thought was: “Oh nonononono, they’ve made a terrible mistake—I should NOT be associated with a book about being very married!”
And yet, I am married.
So maybe it fits. But my married life is sordid and juicy and dark and rad and has all the feels and is awesome and ugh. When I say my married life has all the feels…it has ALL the feels: terror, shame, incredulousness, angst, stupidity, elation, anger, joy, loneliness, love. You see…I have been married.
Twice in 17 years I’ve been lawfully wed to a man. Twice I’ve worn a white dress (gasp!) and walked down an aisle with my dad at the end standing there playing dual roll of father-of-the-bride and officiant. Twice in 17 years I’ve pondered wedding vows and special music and how I’d do my hair and what kind of wedding cake I wanted and the order of a marriage ceremony.
But weddings are one thing and marriages are very much different things, my friends. But of course you know this. Both my weddings were sweet and lovely. And both my marriages can be described as good and hard. My marriage therapist looked at me and my husband last week and said, “So, you’re like most couples…you’ve known each other for about 7 years. You’ve been married 5 years and you woke up one morning thinking, Read More